ZipSkinny-Info about our Zip Codes

72802 (Russellville, AR)
median income is 38,738
the unemployment rate is 2.4%
66.1% are married
82.5% have a high school diploma
24.4% have a bachelors or higher
the white population is 94.3%
the black population is 1.7%


60624 (Chicago-East Garfield Park,my neighborhood)
median income is 22,426
the unemployment rate is 11.6%
25.1% are married
59.2% have a high school diploma
6% have a bachelors or higher
the white population is 0.7%
the black population is 97.6%

21014 (Bel Air)
median income is 82,528
the unemployment rate is 1.7%
55.4% are married
97.4% have a high school diploma
63.4% have a bachelors or higher
the white population is 90.6%
the black population is 0.5%

38105 (one of the worst areas in Memphis)
median income is 10,974
the unemployment rate is 9.2%
20.1% are married
56.1% have a high school diploma
12.1% have a bachelors or higher
11.9% white
83.4% black


60644 (Chicago-Austin, where my friend Laura lives/works)
median income is 26,930
the unemployment rate is 10.4%
25.3% are married
60.7% have a high school diploma
7% have a bachelors or higher
2% white
94.8% black

68111 (Omaha, where my friend Misty works)
median income is 23,470
the unemployment rate is 7.5%
30.1% are married
71.6% have a high school diploma
7.4% have a bachelors or higher
21.2% are white
70.6% are black

75210 (Dallas, TX)
median income is 15,038
the unemployment rate is 10.1%
35.4% are married
42% have a high school diploma
3.1% have a bachelors or higher
.9% are white
80.9% are black

75230 (Dallas, TX)
median income is 51,702
the unemployment rate is 2.1%
52.2% are married
93.1% have a high school diploma
55.7% have a bachelors or higher
78.6% white
5.9% black


As you can see, unfortuantely, East Garfield has the highest unemployment rate. Also, when looking at how our neighborhood compares with our neighboring zipcodes, we have the highest poverty rate and lowest median income than any other surrounding neighborhood in Chicago. There is also this cool thing where you can pick up to 20 different zipcodes around the US and compare them to your zipcode. So, I picked anywhere from Bradenton FL to Atlanta to Omaha to Bartelsville, OK and everywhere in between. Alas, our neighborhood still had the highest poverty rate.

It may also be interesting to note that East Garfield Park has the highest concentration of African Americans than any other zipcode I compared.

Okay...I think thats enough. Now, as you look through these...what do you see as a common thread between the higher income/lower unemployment rate vs. lower income/higher unemployment rate? Seriously...what similarity do u see?


(these demographics were found at zipskinny.com)

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Monday is MLK day...most schools and many businesses close for the special day. Yet, I can't help but think that Dr. King's day has become a little commercialized...his words have become less passionate and moving...and his dream a thing of the past.

I personally still get moved to the point of tears when I read his speeches and letters. They hit to the very core of my being...especially his letter from a Birmigham jail:

"We have waited .for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God- given rights. The nations of Asia and Africa are moving with jetlike speed toward gaining political independence, but we stiff creep at horse-and-buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging dark of segregation to say, "Wait." But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six- year-old daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an answer for a five-year-old son who is asking: "Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?"; when you take a cross-county drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by nagging signs reading "white" and "colored"; when your first name becomes "nigger," your middle name becomes "boy" (however old you are) and your last name becomes "John," and your wife and mother are never given the respected title "Mrs."; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with inner fears and outer resentments; when you no forever fighting a degenerating sense of "nobodiness" then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair. I hope, sirs, you can understand our legitimate and unavoidable impatience...But though I was initially disappointed at being categorized as an extremist, as I continued to think about the matter I gradually gained a measure of satisfaction from the label. Was not Jesus an extremist for love: "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." Was not Amos an extremist for justice: "Let justice roll down like waters and righteousness like an ever-flowing stream." Was not Paul an extremist for the Christian gospel: "I bear in my body the marks of the Lord Jesus." Was not Martin Luther an extremist: "Here I stand; I cannot do otherwise, so help me God." And John Bunyan: "I will stay in jail to the end of my days before I make a butchery of my conscience." And Abraham Lincoln: "This nation cannot survive half slave and half free." And Thomas Jefferson: "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that an men are created equal ..." So the question is not whether we will be extremists, but what kind of extremists we viii be. We be extremists for hate or for love? Will we be extremist for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice? In that dramatic scene on Calvary's hill three men were crucified. We must never forget that all three were crucified for the same crime---the crime of extremism. Two were extremists for immorality, and thus fell below their environment. The other, Jeans Christ, was an extremist for love, truth and goodness, and thereby rose above his environment. Perhaps the South, the nation and the world are in dire need of creative extremists..."

(there is so much more to this letter, but i figured none of you would read the whole thing so i just put a small part in it. i suggest if you have time to read the whole thing though.)

I was talking to a little girl the other day at work and she told me her sister doesn't like white people. I asked why and she didn't answer me then I looked at her cousin and asked her if she liked white people. The other girl looked at me with her big brown eyes and said, "why Shasta? You aren't white, you are light-skinned." Then it hit me. White and Black has become less about the color of one's skin and more about the "sterotypes" people have been taught their whole lives. When she looks at me she doesn't see me as a white person because then everything she has been taught about 'white people' will be wrong. Although it warms my heart to know that she doesn't sterotype me in this way, it breaks my heart that she is being taught things about 'whites' and other children are being taught things about 'blacks' that are so untrue in most cases. Yes, there are some people who fit the 'black' or 'white' sterotypes taught by many people but who am i and who is anyone to be judged by another person's actions and beliefs?

So, as I sit here today, I think...have we really come that far in obtaining Dr. MLK's dreams? Yes, people today can sit, go, eat, sleep anywhere they want, regardless of the color of their skin, thank God. But, I think he wanted so much more than that. I think about the bitterness towards blacks so many whites have. I think about the bitterness towards whites so many blacks have. I feel it sometimes as I walk around my neighborhood...I see the stares and hear the comments. And, I look at people and want to shout, look beyond the color of my skin and look at the content of my character! Dr. King said that by the way. It all makes me wonder, with all the plays, rememberances, and other things we have in Dr. King's honor...does it stir up any emotions? Do we ever sit back and think about the racism that still goes on today?

I'm sure I will stir up a lot of feelings when people read this. Maybe some will even comment...i'd love for you to. But, honestly, I really just want people to look at themselves, at their neighborhoods, at their schools, and ask the question...how far have we, not as a society or government, but we as human beings...as neighborhoods as families, come from the days when MLK preached and spoke about freedom and justice?

God bless you all, and taking Dr. King's words...your's for the cause of peace and brother(sister)hood, Shasta.

Another Day...Another Moment

This is an excerpt from our executive director at Breakthrough, Arloa Stutter's, blog:

"Saturday night I went to bed at about 10:30. I awoke at 1:30 AM to lots of voices shouting and screaming using the most explicit words imaginable.
Charlie (my dog) and I sleep in a bedroom in the back of the apartment. We hear lots of yelling, sirens, cars screeching and trains going by. Both Charlie and I have grown accustomed to it so that even with this extreme shouting that sounded almost like a riot, neither of us got up. Charlie didn't even bark. But when I heard about five gun shots, I decided to go to the living room window at the front of the apartment and see if I needed to do anything. There were about fifty young people embroiled in a huge fight in front of my apartment. Several of the young men were wielding baseball bats and two by fours and they were beating each other up. Evidently someone had shot a gun into the air and some of them were beginning to scatter.I wandered what it must be like to be the mother or grandmother of one of those kids, knowing they are out there and not knowing how to stop them from being there. Anything could happen.A 21-year old boy from the neighborhood recently was released from prison and has been hanging out at our offices. Today Bill and I were trying to find out what dreams he has for his life. He couldn't think of anything. I finally asked him when in the last week he had felt the most positive about himself and hopeful for the future. He said it is when he is with us at the Breakthrough Joshua Center. You can almost sense the fear in him that if he goes back out there it is only a matter of time, statistics indicate less than 90 days, and he will be back in prison. I told him that he should keep coming by and helping out around the center. It's a safe place for him, a place where he is beginning to feel hopeful. Please pray for him and for the young people who were out there Saturday night. I really believe many, if not most, of them would not be hanging out on the street if there were alternatives for them. They just need safe places where they can begin to dream for their future and experience positive life change."

I drive down the streets in the East Garfield Park neighborhood daily. I see things daily that sadden me to almost the point of tears. Yesterday I was saddened by the fact that cops had to be called after a "domestic violence situation" (shots were fired) in a house across the street from the center. I know for a fact at least 4 kids that are involved in one way or another with breakthrough live there. The thing is, it's so common now for things like this to happen, everyone around was like, oh its just so and so again. The thing is, do we have to be so "used to it?" So used to that it doesn't move us to do something? Is there the danger that working here for awhile will harden my heart to the point that shots being fired or any kind of violence is just a typical day? I hope not. I hear stories everyday about my kids and the lives they live. Some break my heart, others are stories of small hope...most though are stories of hopelessness and the idea that if they make it "it'll be a miracle." Oh I how I hope for a thousand miracles. That's what gets me through the day here. It's tough...tougher than sometimes I let on. But, knowing that I may be the only Jesus these kids see everyday...that's enough to tell me that I am where I am supposed to be. And someday, I can look at a woman or man and say...you are a miracle...and I'm blessed because I was a part of that!

Winter!

It is officially December. And, starting today, we are in a "winter storm warning." I'm thinking their winter storms are a little different than our winter storms! ;) These last few days it has been in the teens in the mornings and going up to the 30s in the afternoons. I was told I need a new warmer jacket and warmer shoes (something about my converse are not going to cut it!); my thought is, this city is turning out to be more expensive than I thought.

An update on the housing situation. In 2 1/2 weeks, the day before I go home for Christmas, I am moving into a new condo. I will be living with 2 girls, one of which I've met and the other of which I don't even know her name. It's a nice place and I'll have my own bedroom (YAY), so i'm excited about it! I do wish, though, that I knew the girls better before I moved in...if only I could afford my own place!

My boss's husband (I guess hes my boss as well) was stopped the other night after dropping off a friend from work. He was in another neighborhood similar to ours (i.e. a impovrished area) and after dropping him off was almost immediately stopped by the police. The policeman proceded to pull him out of his car and put a gun to his head. He (the officer) was cussing him out and asking him if he was high and buying drugs. Mind you, my boss had nothing wrong, and was completely confused by it all. The officer held a gun to his head and just kept asking him where his drugs were and stuff. Finally, after a few minutes of my boss trying to explain to him he lived in the area and was dropping off a co-worker, the officer finally let him go.Interesting, isn't it? I feel as though the police in general think either we are in the neighborhood to buy/sale drugs or we must be really stupid. I and my boss's family are neither. Other co-workers and friends that live in this neighborhood are neither as well. People just do not understand why we would chose to live a life of simplicity and choose to live in this area if we don't have to. I read this amazing book a year or so ago called Sub-Merge: living deep in a shallow world. And, I feel as though that is what we at breakthrough are doing. There are a few passages in it that I found are remarkably poignant to what i'm talking about:

"Poverty we know about. Its poor people we do not know; but it’s knowing poor people that enable substantive chance and authentic empowerment to take place. " How many of us really do know the poor? Living in this community hasn't just allowed me to meet and communicate with them but has also allowed me to understand the trials they are going through and show them more than just sympathy but more importantly empathy. If I drove in from the 'burbs everyday, do you really think that I could have an effective ministry? Maybe, but not near as effective as living right down the street from them. You should see my kids' faces when I first told them where I lived, I got the "you live down the street from me jo" or "imma come to your house now cuz we livin so close"...it's awesome to see them running around outside when I drive down the street, honking my horn at them and them wavin and smilin real big.

"In order to live the gospel among the poor, we must expect to go outside the gate and break away from the system. And we should expect to discover Christ there and follow his lead, especially when we are acting against injustice. Most people applaud and admire works of mercy. When it comes to speaking against systemic injustice in a way that might entail changing life-styles or sharing power and influence, however, there comes an awkward silence. Those who choose to live and work among the poor should expect to serve Christ as a remnant. You can hope for more to join in, certainly. Celebrate those who come. But do not wait for a critical mass from the mainstream to act. Be content to work far from the limelight. And don’t expect the mainstream to validate or embrace your efforts among the poor with your same intensity or passion." This is another passage in the book that seems so real to me. Sure, sure everyone loves it when you help the poor but when you go one step further and decide to live among them, its a different story. All of a sudden its not about the poor to them any more but about you and your safety and your provisions and stuff. And all of a sudden, if you aren't careful, you begin to second guess yourself and think about your needs and wants. Christ says, whoever wants to follow me must die to himself, take the cross and follow me. Dying to myself means not looking at how different I must live or how different the culture may be or how safety issues might be in question...but to put others before me and see that Christ has called me to work and minister among the poor. Yeah, maybe it is crazy to the police or to the mainstream that I choose to live here. But, "If I was still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ." Gal 1:10

Above: Quite possibly the funniest kid I have ever met in my life

Another week has come and gone in the program. It's been a tough week. I definitely at one point really just wanted to go to the bathroom and either scream or cry! LOL I love my kids so very much and I guess thats why it really affects me when they act the way they do at times. It's frustrating because I look at them and I think, WOW, the potential that they have. Most of our kids are so creative, intelligent, and just imaginative, I can just imagine the possiblities if they just kept their heads on straight and realized their potential.

Anyways, I am dogsitting this week (got up at 5 am to take her out this morning) so i've got to go back and check on her. Have a great weekend! God bless!!!!

"I have found the paradox that if you love until it hurts there can be no more hurt, only more love." Mother Teresa

Education

So, I hope that most agree with me when I say that the Chicago Public School Systems as well as pretty much all Public Schools systems have "much to be desired." Most are failing enormously to give our underprivileged kids the help and education that they desperately need. One man, (whom I particularly love!), has written several books on social injustice as well as the need for better school systems in the inner-cities of America. His name is Jonathon Kozol. I've read a couple of his books, one called Shame of the Nation, which was very good. He recently did an interview in which I really agree with him that we need a systemic change in our education system.

One thing in particular Kozol says in the interview is that No Child Left Behind has driven away "superbly educated, high-spirited teachers" who leave, not because of the kids, but because of the "absolute decapitation of potential in children that is the unintended consequence of an agenda that strips down the curriculum in order to teach only isolated skills that will appear on an exam."About charter schools he says, "Despite their claims that their schools are not selective in the students they enroll, the kids whose parents even hear about these schools and whose parents know how to navigate the application process are inherently self-selective."I know of parents in Chicago who start when their kids are two and three to research the system and to position their children to be accepted into the best schools. The children of uneducated parents or those who have recently immigrated to this country are left behind in increasingly disfuntional schools.Kozol's suggestions...
-Give standardized exams less often and rely instead on diagnostic tests.
-Require that states certify that class size in an urban district is at the same level as the size in an affluent suburban district and that every child receive the same years of preschool education before a standardized exam is used.
-Amend the transfer provision to require that states facilitate the right to transfer across district lines to enable the parents of inner-city children who are in chronically failing schools to place ther children in high-performing and better-funded public schools.
-Get rid of the property tax almost entirely as the basis of school funding or pool the property taxes into a common pool and distribute those funds equitably to every single child in the state. Kozol doesn't lose heart about education because "there are far more marvelous teachers in these urban schools than you would ever guess if you listen to the politicians who condemn them... The high morale of our teachers is our most precious asset. If they lose their delight in being with the children, they won't stay, and we'll lose everything."

Weird thing? When I decided that I didn't want to do Teach For America they asked me to explain to them why I had opted out of the process. I told them, "I feel as though we have put way too much emphasis on testing and it leaves our kids only learning the stuff needed to get the schools to look better and improve their standards. And, I want to be a part of a system that lets us develop relationships with the kids as well as help them excel in education." I am so glad that I didn't decide to do TFA, I'm pretty sure Breakthrough is EXACTLY where God wants me right now.

WHY?

Soo...this is not the first time nor the last time I will ask WHY? Why God, oh WHY? So, today was amazing. We had a group from a church up north come up and bring about 25 volunteers in to help build these carpet ball tables. And, some of our 6-8th graders came to help out. It was soooo fun. From 10 am till 3:00 we just had fun. One of the ladies from the other church made the comment to Bill, "You know, I thought it would be our kids working really hard and your kids sitting around or goofing off; and it ended up being the exact opposite. Your kids worked really hard." It was really awesome to see that others seen how AMAZING our kids really are. I mean, I had so much fun just working side-by-side with them. But, yeah, the reason I ask why is because you know, I look at these beautiful children. And, I see the personalities and the creativity and the wonderfulness of them and know that soon, their lives will take it out of them. Their lives will continue to progress just like now, but the hardness and reality of the poverty they live in and the destitution they live in will come up and bite them in the butt. Today, I witness something that brought me to tears. One of our kids, who is such a JOYFUL person. Which is surprising to say because most of our kids are anything but joyful. Just not an emotion you see much with them. Anyways, like always, she was being her silly self just hanging out. We were done with the tables and were playing them (Its actually a really fun game); when her mom buzzes on the door. Now, I must admit, I had never met her mom. And, I was surprised because apparently she has had a stroke and one side of her kinda droops. She is a small woman but intimadated me from the moment she walked in. She immediately started in on the girl. Yelling at her because she didn't call home, which she had but her little sister didn't tell her mom. So then she proceeded to yell at her little sister for a minute. Then just like that, she asked if I would bring her home and then she walked out and left. I looked at this beautiful girl. I have never noticed before this moment how poor she was. More importantly though, I had never noticed in that moment how STRONG she was. You could tell it affected her but after a moment or two...she was okay. After I dropped her off, I just cried because, WHY? Why does she have to live in that? Why does any of my kids have to live in that enviornment. And i'm not just talking about the poverty but i'm talking about the other kind of poverty-the poverty of no love. The poverty of no care and kindness. It broke my heart today. And, everytime I see these parents or see their homes or see the incredible pain these kids go through, it makes me want to love on them even more. I don't want to feel sorry for them, because thats not what they need, because feeling sorry for them doesn't really help but I do want to love them. Love them because I know God's heart is for the poor. He mentions the poor over 2,000 times in the bible. Must be a pretty important topic, then, huh? I want to push them and teach them about who they are in Christ. That it doesn't matter even what your own FAMILY SAYS....because, Christ's opinion of them is the only one that matters. But, I still think, after the fact, about the kids that came today from that other church. Most, if not all, of them will go back to their comfy homes, probably tell their parents all about the "crazy black kids" they met today and ya know, that'll be it. Why do they get to go home to parents? Why do they get to go home to warm, cozy homes? Why do they get to go home and eat dinner and relax? Why do they get to not fear that when they walk down the street this afternoon that they won't get shot? Why? Why do my kids just because they were born in this enviornment or into these families have to deal with all the pain and sorrow and evil? Why, WHY? I praise God for Breakthrough. And that they at least have a safe enviornment to come and laugh and run around, even if it is just for a few hours a day. I praise God that they have Breakthrough Staff that TRULY care about them, care about 'em enough not to feel sorry for them but to PUSH them and BELIEVE in them. That to me, makes these kids in some ways, as rich as the kids in the 'burbs. And that I praise God for! PS here's a video of one of my girls doing the "robot" sorry it's not very clear!

Not cool

So, yesterday two of our freshman boys were walking to the corner store, like a normal day. But, it wasn't a normal day. As they were walking some boys pulled up in a car, basically asked them what gang they were in and proceeded to shoot at them. Thank God they had the sense to high tail it out of there and neither one of them were hurt. You know what they said when they got to the center? "It was kind of exciting!" Yeah, they were "a little scared" but yeah, it was more exciting than scary, apparently. The thing is, they were just WALKING TO THE STORE. They are both Christian boys and don't cause trouble, but because they were black kids in this neighborhood, they were immediately targeted by other gangs as having to be in a rival gang. Ridiculous and very scary to me. I'm just so thankful that they weren't hurt. This comes after 3 boys were shot last week a few blocks away from our center, probably gang-related activity as well. Ugh, what is wrong with this world.

In other news, today the kids don't have school. They pick up their report cards today and are going to bring them into the center tomorrow. Tomorrow my Health and Nutrition Class starts up again and i'll have the K-2nd grades for 5 weeks. In some ways I feel like it'll be easier cause basically, as long as there is something they can color, I figure they'll be fine. But, I have 18 kids, and most of those 18 kids are HYPERACTIVE lol, so it'll be interesting if I can keep them under control!!!!!

Oh, so me and my friend Laura go eat dinner or breakfast on Wednesdays every week. We try to find these wonderful new restaurants we've never heard of and just try them. A few weeks ago it was a Mediterranean restaurant called Grape Leaves, AMAZING, another week it was Pompei and another was a Asian restaurant called Penny's. All these places have been amazing but this week, we decided to go to breakfast. We found this little cafe called "Cafe De Luca". We both had lattes and scones. I looooooove coffee shops and cafes. I will definitely say that i'm addicted to coffee. If I don't go get some from a coffee shop, I make my own...my boss tells me i'm too young for coffee! LOL

Aight, I've got to head back to work, came home for lunch today and now gotta go back and get back to planning my class tomorrow. God bless!

"Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary, use words." St Francis Assisi

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

ughhhh...i was soooo mad today when i found out one of our boys was moved up yesterday to 8th grade....why? because he is "too" old for his grade...HOW STUPID IS THAT? academically he should probably be in 6th grade...what's wrong with the chicago public system? ha, no child left behind is a joke...


other story of the week: so one of our 4th grade girls walked up with her arm around one of our 10th grade boys. He is such a great kid and is really growing in his faith and learning how to be a godly man. so she walks up and says, "skasta (thats what she calls me), he is just way too nice, he's just too nice to all the little girls (they all have crushes on him!!)." i smiled and told her maybe it's because he is such a gentleman. i kid you not, she looked straight at me, laughed and said, "what? a gentleman? he's from the HOOD he can't be a gentleman." and the sad thing was, she was so serious. i just looked at her and said, it doesn't matter where he's from, he is a nice guy and a gentleman and you can live in the hood and be a gentleman. and she should expect that out of all guys. she just looked at me, smirked/laughed, and walked off. it made me sad. these girls don't expect or even believe there are good guys out there anymore. wow.

2 Things....

Hello! It's been a great last few days for the kids. Last week, the kids did probably the best they've done so far and this week they have already been doing great.
So, after working with these wonderful kids for awhile, I see how blessed I was to grow up in a 2 parent, Christian home. I didn't realize that some of the things my parents taught me over the years wasn't a "given" and that a lot of parents don't teach their kids some very important but very basic things these children need to survive. Although I could probably think of a lot more than these 2, I just really wanted to write about 2 things I've noticed the most with our kids that I thought was something that all kids growing up learn, yet, after seeing them day in and day out-obviously they don't. Here they are:

1. No respect for women:
These boys do not respect our girls at all. They hit them, they talk mean to them, they disrespect them continually. Then when you tell them they are a girl so you need to respect them, they look at you like they are crazy. These boys are being taught by the men in their lives that women are to be used and that’s it. There’s no respect there. There’s no love and devotion there. Now I’m not saying that girls are totally innocent in all this but it just amazes me the total disregard to the fact that these girls aren’t supposed to be treated that way. I always see some boy walk by and just smack a girl on the head or just say something so totally rude to them in passing. And, it makes no matter to them what-so-ever that they are girls and they deserve the respect any man should give a woman. This is what our boys are learning from the men that come in and out of their lives. Our girls, they deserve so much more. For example, today, we had an 8th grade boy tell this 8th grade girl after she laughed at him for saying something, he told her he was going to knock that smile off her face, knock her out because he wasn’t talking to her and she shouldn’t be laughing. You know what her response was? She just laughed and shook her head…I really wanted to look at her and say, girl, no…don’t let him talk to you like that. You are so much better than that. You shouldn’t have to take that from any guy because you deserve more than that and you should demand and expect more from him. That’s the thing though, our girls, they don’t expect stuff like that from a man. They want a boyfriend to “love them” and “care for them” but seriously, most don’t even know what real love is. They sure don’t know what it looks like for a man to respect a woman, just for the plain and simple fact that she is a female and deserves it. I know, I know, there are cases where a girl doesn’t deserve it…but I’m talking about our beautiful girls just being in the program and guys just being so disrespectful to them because they can and because that’s all they know. So, we can’t necessarily fault them but we can educate them. But, how do you tell a boy who doesn’t have a father in his life, who sees every older man in his life treat women like dirt…how do I expect him to understand that he should respect this girl just because she is a female? And how do we teach our girls that they should expect more out of their men? When they don’t see their moms expecting more? When they see every man in their lives being disrespectful? How can we teach these girls that they are worth so much more and deserve so much more? Will teaching our young girls this help the ever increasing number of young, unmarried moms? Will this help with the very popular fad of lesbianism going around in our school systems these days? Yes, some will be surprised to hear that but it’s definitely a fad in our schools now. Why? One might have a case that these girls are looking for something more and they can’t find it in any boy because all these boys want is sex and power…our girls want to be loved and cared for. They see all the men in their lives as untrustworthy and unfaithful, so they turn to other things-like other girls. So sad and yet, it has become a norm. Why? Why can’t we look at these boys and say, be the men you are supposed to be. A real man respects women. A real man doesn’t see how many women he can “conquer” but a real man finds a women he can care for and love. Why can’t we look at these girls and tell them they are “pearls” and that they are so worthy of love, respect, and faithfulness. They should expect this and never settle for anything less. This is my desire, to teach our girls about how precious they are, how they are worth a lot more than what these boys say they are worth. And, that their real worth can only come from God. My desire is also to tell our boys how to be men, tell them they are worth more too. That God wants so much greater things for their lives than just to be some baby's daddy...

Sorry, got on my soapbox...haha....okay, here's the other thing i've heard...
2. No lead by example/older leader mentality:
This is the other thing that I notice is lacking with our kids. I always look at the older kids when they hit a younger kid or they mouth a younger kid back and say, you are how old? Why don’t you set an example and just ignore it. This is so foreign to them. They don’t understand the concept of setting an example. They don’t understand the concept that for the simple reason that they are older, they should be able to walk away without hitting back or without saying something back. They should be the more “mature” one. They don’t do this. So often, I see the older kids messing with the younger kids and their response is always, he hit me first or she said something first so I had to say something back. This concept of being a leader, leading by example, and “just because you are older” is so foreign to them because they don’t see it at home. They have no older sibling leading by example. They have no cousins or friends leading by example. All they see is if you get me, I get you or I’m older so I’ll do what I want. I tell them that these kids are looking up to them and modeling their every move. We do have the mayor program that the high schoolers (9th-12th) graders come in and are tutors for the kids and in some ways over the kids. And, they see them leading and we are trying to get them to lead by example. Most do, and of course occasionally they mess up and do something stupid, but they are doing it. They are leading these kids and hopefully showing them what it means to lead by example and be the more mature one just because they are older.

Anyways, despite these last two paragraphs, my kids are absolutely wonderful. I look at them and sometimes think, there is no way that in a year, I'll be able to leave this place. I'm sooo blessed to have a job I love. I think most of the world would look at these kids and say they won't be anything, they won't make it...but every single day, I see little improvements and I hope that everyday, through me and my co-workers, that these kids can see the love God has for them and that they can EXCEL, they can become the men and women God wants them to be!
I will continue to push them because I love them and I believe in them. And, hopefully, they will see this and begin to believe in themselves...because, isn't that what makes someone excel in life more than anything? To believe in yourself? May these kids everyday begin to believe in themselves and believe that with God, they can do anything with their lives and be whoever they want to be.

God bless you all. I miss everyone of you!

Creativity isn't flowing...

This week has been relatively uneventful at work because of tutor training. The kids left after homework time Tues, Wed, and Thurs but I still managed to log 9 hours all three days because of "tutor training." To tell you the truth, though, I enjoyed it to an extent because it gave me more time to get to know the "mayors" (who are the 9-12th graders who help out the younger kids in the program) and so that was cool.
Personally, though, this week has kinda been a roller coaster of emotions. It's amazing how the things that used to seem so important to me seem so trivial now. Another crazy thing is this: I got up like every normal day, put on some coffee and sat down to briefly watch the news...and I came to the realization that I am an adult. It kinda snuck up on me...not that it happened over night but that I didn't even notice that I was "grown up" now.
Another thing that has been on my mind lately is the racism and discrimination that stares me in the face everyday. Things I've always heard about but really never knew existed. *I am deleted this part because it seemed to irritate and bother some people...i guess a lot of people don't want to know what the world is really like.*

If these kids didn't have enough things pulling them down, lets just add on the fact that no one actually believes in them. You can see that by the buisnesses around our community and the interest the city actually takes in up-keeping our neighborhoods. These kids have so many factors that say they won't make it...a lot more factors than us pushing them and telling them they can and will. Somedays I look at this heavy burden and think it's impossible. Holistically speaking, these kids need so much yet what can we really give them? They need Jesus first and foremost but they also need so much more. The number one thing that brings people out of poverty is not money...I know most think that, or they wouldn't just dump some money into the "charity bank" and go on with their merry lives never thinking about the poor again...but no, the most important thing that brings people out of poverty is relationships. Yes, relationships. Role models, people who are stable in their lives and who BELIEVE in them and push them beyond what they thought was possible. Everyday, I do this. Everyday, I go home and wonder, am I making a difference? Most days it doesn't feel like it. Then I think about the fact that God has called me to love, and that is it. To love these kids...there is so much involved in loving these kids yet, he doesn't call me to change them...He does that. Love does that. I can't change one kid here. I can't do it...no matter the time you spend with them or amount of money or whatever it is you give them...you can't change one kid's life...only Jesus Christ our lord and Savior can. And He will...I may never see the fruit of my labor, but I've got to believe that He is and will do some amazing things in these kids lives. That is the only thing that keeps me sane at the end of the day.

Another Week

Well...another week is almost over. I can't believe I've only been here for 3 weeks. I feel like i've been here for months. I have learned so so much already! Not only from Breakthrough but just from living in Chicago.

One thing I love about my neighborhood is no matter what, it's never quiet. I know some people might not like that but I do. I wake up every morning to rap/r&b music coming from a neighboor's apartment or across the street...and I go to bed with either kids laughing and playing outside or some mom yelling at her kid. There is always t.v. to listen to or music to dance to! :) Another thing I love about this neighborhood is the people. Yes, the people. They are really friendly. I walk to work everyday and there is always someone on their steps or in their yard and they almost always say hi or talk about the weather or something. Now, of course, I could talk about the things I don't like about the neighborhood too but i'll keep that to myself :) haha...I would rather talk about the positive things.

Work is going great. Unfortuantely tomorrow is Friday which means my class again. I'm not going to lie...I really don't know what to do with them! haha...Hopefully i'll have this great wonderful epipheny (sp?) and everything will go great tomorrow.

Yesterday was interesting. We had 6th-8th graders in the computer lab working on "blogging" like I do. They even use blogger.com like me. Anyways, their assignment was "using correct grammer/sentence structure" write about your favorite sport or t.v. show. basically they had to write one or two paragraphs about it. They had an hour....guess what? Half of them didn't even finish one paragraph. I was sitting with one girl who literally spent the entire time staring at the computer and wrote 3 sentences. In one hour. Another girl...she had 2 sentences I told her if she wrote 2 more than she could be finished, 30 minutes later...she had written 1 more...I was like...why aren't you writing? "I don't feel like it." I was like, come on, it's not like we are asking you to write on Shakesphere's plays or something...ugh! I just didn't understand it at all. But that is the attitudes these kids have. Education is just not high on their priority lists. I have kids in 6th grade who can barely read. Oh, and we had a reading test on the computers for around 35 kids (1st-5th) to see where they were "grade level" wise. We had 3 kids who got above a 50%. 3 wow...3! It's crazy. Breakthrough, though, is doing an amazing job though and I know that a lot of them are doing even better than they did last year. I just pray we can continue to help them because honestly, reading is the most important skill they can learn.

Alright...that's it for today. continue to pray for me. Pray I continue to love these kids through God's eyes not my own because some days it's not that easy :)