Happy Father's Day!

The older I get, the more I realize the importance of fathers in children's (and adults!) lives. I live in a neighborhood where most kids may know who their dad is but they really don't know them. Many of their fathers have struggled with not knowing their own fathers and in turn do not know how to be fathers so they become the same absent fathers that their own fathers were. I have seen children whom are growing into young men in desperate need of strong, Godly dads. I have seen young ladies who are growing up in desperate need of dads who will tell them their value does not come from how they look or act but from the inside. I truly believe that my neighborhood and most poor or desolate neighborhoods would be completely changed if only their families were restored and fathers would take responsibility and become the dads that God created them to be.

I say all that to say that I have become fully aware of how amazing my father is and how blessed I am to have someone like him in my life. See I know my dad loves me. He loves me not just because he says it, but his actions have always shown it as well. He loves me because he has always provided for me. He is the hardest working man I have ever met. And, because of that hard-work ethic, I in turn have learned that I must be a hard-worker. He loves me because he always spent time with me. Even now, every time I come home, he wants to spend time with me. I cannot tell you what it means to me to know that he wants to go hiking or floating. I know often I am super busy and I don't get to do all the things that he wants to do, but I do hope he knows that it means everything to me to know that he wants to do something in the first place. He love me because he disciplined me. Yes, I know crazy huh? Instead of sleeping in late, he wanted us to get up and pick up chickens. I am the person I am today because he and my mom took the time to discipline me. He loves me because he taught me about Jesus. We were Sunday morning, night and Wednesday night church goers when I was younger. But that wasn't all. He showed us who God was by his actions, by loving, caring, guiding, and teaching us.

I have always been kind of a daddy's girl. I think of my dad as my hero. For no matter what happens, I know that he will ALWAYS have my back. I know that no matter what I do, he'll always love me. He is the best man I know. I pray that someday I marry a man like him. A man that loves God, his wife, and his children more than anything else and puts them above his job or hobbies or anything else. My daddy is the best!

My prayer is that more children in this world will be able to experience the love of their earthly fathers. For those in my neighborhood who aren't able to experience that love, I pray daily that they would be able to realize and accept the love of our heavenly Father. Often kids think of "father" in a negative connotation, but I hope that they understand that there is a father that will NEVER forsake them and will love them unconditionally. Psalm 68:5 says, "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Although not everyone is blessed to have such an amazing earthly dad as I have, they are blessed because each and everyone one of us have a Heavenly dad, and that dad is God and He desires a relationship and a fellowship with each of us! Praise you God!

And Dad, I love you! Thanks for everything you do for me! You are definitely the BEST!

God bless you all!

Family Time

On Wednesday my cousin, Josh, flew up to Chicago from Florida. It was the first time I have seen him in 6 years. Thats right, 6 years.

He stayed for four days. It was great to see him. It was great to catch up, learn all about his life now and just feel like family again.

Thursday and Friday we went downtown. Saw the Navy Pier, Grant Park, and the Sears Tower. Walked the Magnificent Mile, ate lots and lots of food, and saw a Bogota, which I believe was his favorite thing of the whole time!

Saturday was by far my favorite day though. We went skiing in Lake Geneva, WI and had a blast! I skied the BLACK SLOPES and didn't fall. Yes, I definitely fell a lot, but Josh kept teaching me and encouraging me to try, try and try again. And, I went on the black slope twice and didn't fall either time! By the end, I felt like a pro. :)

He left tonight. I was sad to see him go and I hope that it isn't another 6 years before I see him again.

Here is a few pictures from our ski trip:

on the ski lift!

half the black slope half the blue slope

Josh wore out after a long day of skiing

God bless you all!

Future Plans

These past few weeks, I have been debating whether or not I should and could stay at Breakthrough for the upcoming year. My contract doesn't actually end until September but AmeriCorps needed to know by last week (which I extended another week to decide) whether I would do another year or not. As I prayed about it, I was conflicted mainly because I miss my family and yet at the same time, I knew that God was asking me to stay here. There were a host of reasons why I should and shouldn't stay but when it came down to it, I really felt like God was not through with me here. I'm not sure if he is not through using me here or through changing me here. Lol Seriously, I've grown and learned so much in this year that I can't imagine how much more God is going to teach me!

So, with all that said, a mix of happiness and sadness has overtaken me. Yes, I'm extremely happy because I get to spend another year serving my wonderful kids. I truly feel like you can't build lasting relationships in such a short period as a year. These kids have so many people in and out of their lives that I just don't want to be one of them. I'm also happy because I enjoy Chicago. Living in a big city gives me many opprotunities to see things I've never seen before as well as begin to understand many different cultures and lifestyles. It's great. The sadness part of me is the simple fact that I miss my family. I don't really care about the money because well, I'm not in this for the money. I'm definitely not living my life to make money...so that ended up being not a factor once I realized I would still be able to pay my bills. The factor that makes me sad is I think about my beautiful nieces. Kyleigh is 2 and Emma is 3 months old. They are both the most wonderful nieces anyone could ask for. And, it breaks my heart to know that I can't go pick up Kyleigh and take her to the park or just hold Emma for hours and watch her smile. It makes me sad to know my mom and dad had to celebrate mothers and fathers day without me. It makes me sad to know that my bro and bethany bought their first house and i couldn't be there to see it...and it makes me sad to know that the only way i can talk to my best friend in this world, my sister, is through the phone. i can go on and on, about how much i miss my mamaw, my aunts and uncles, my nuckleheaded cousin nicole or my other wonderful cousins...but i won't because i'm starting to get a little teary eyed. so, yeah, this decision that i made...it was definitely a difficult one. in the end, though, i realized that serving god is most important to me. and so i'll stay here. happily but with a twinge of saddness.

i'm excited about this summer. i'm relieved that i know where i'll be for at least another year. it's great to be able to look at my kids and truthfully tell them i'm not going anywhere, at least for awhile.

i love you all. i'm thankful for God's providence in my life. I'm thankful for family that i love so much that i truly miss them! i'm thankful that i also love my job, though, and that god has given me such a passion for working and pouring into the lives of these children.

if you have any questions...comments...about my decision, feel free to email me (sbcole04@gmail.com) or leave a comment on this silly thing.

God bless you all!

5 People...

Moving to Chicago has definitely changed me alot. I am not the same person I was when I left home some 8 or so months ago. It has been a year of change, a year of growth, a year of learning, a year of pain, and a year of joy. And throughout the year, there have been plenty of people in my life who have been there through the ups and downs...been there to listen, to lend a shoulder to cry on, to make me laugh, and to put me back in my place. Yet, I am so horrible at telling people how much they mean to me. I don't know why but it's very hard for me to just be like, listen...I love you and i'm thankful that you are here for me day in and day out. So, I wanted to write about five people whom have really...just really been impactful on me since I moved to Chicago.

1. Laura C: Laura and I met in California back in September, little did we know that it was a God-thing. We have been friends ever since and I am so thankful for her. Without her, I fear Chicago would still be a scary and foreign place to me, but instead…it is a city I love and enjoy exploring as often as possible. Also, I’m thankful because I rarely have people to ask questions of me and my growth…and she does. For as iron sharpens iron, so one (wo)man sharpens another. I am also thankful for her because she has to listen to my millions of questions, thoughts, laments, and angry tears as I wrestle with my daily walk. I always enjoy our Wednesday outings, we never seem to run out of conversation and laughs (and weird accents hahaha)…and I am really glad that she is my friend.

2. My sister. Leanne is one of the strongest women I know. And she is an amazing mother and older sister that I look up to enormously. She will always be my best friend and ever since I moved to Chicago, I have realized how much she means to me and how much I miss her. Leanne teaches me so much about life and she keeps me in line (all too often). Sometimes I wish I was more like her because she embodies everything I’m not. Yet, I know that God made us different so we would get along so well. Most of all, I’m thankful for her support…for she has been behind me in everything…and makes me feel like she really is proud of me, and not just because I’m her sister.

3. Darmesha Washington. I know it may be weird putting a 14 year old girl on here but this girl…she keeps me laughing. And, she has this uncanny ability to make me smile, no matter how bad or tiring my day has been. And laughter, I believe is one reason I keep my sanity here. I am thankful for her because even at her young age, she shows me what Jesus really meant when he said to love each other. For she truly exhibits Christ love in her actions and words and I am very thankful that I have the privilege of knowing her.

4. My grandmother. My mamaw is my rock. I definitely know I don’t tell her as often as I should, but I admire her so much. I think the most important thing about my relationship with her is my respect for her. Honestly, I don’t really hold many people in high respect, yet my Mamaw…I do. She is such a strong, wise, and hard working woman. Mamaw teaches me so much more than I think I could learn from anyone else on this earth. She puts things in a new perspective and every time I get off the phone with her, I feel like I’ve learned something new or she has forced me to think outside of what I had before thought. I am pretty sure I have the best grandmother in the world. And, I love her so much more than she will ever even know, probably because like I said before, I’m the worst at sharing my feelings!

5. Finally, my good friend Katrina. This girl, I have seen her grow so much over the past year. I have known her for three years...met her when she was still a teenager and I was in college. She is now a sophomore in college and thriving as a godly woman. As you get older, its interesting how you begin to lose contact with a lot of your high school and college friends. And since moving to Chicago, I really don't talk to a lot of friends from my past. There are only a handful that have stayed in contact, yet Katrina...no matter what, still manages to make time for me. I am so thankful for her support and guidance. She may be younger than me, but she is so full of youth ministry wisdom it astounds me. And, she has taught me the difference between joy and happiness...which has really changed my attitude about a lot of things. She is a great friend and I'm proud to call her my sister in Christ.

God bless you all...thanks to everyone (family and friends) for your continual prayer, support, and love for me!