A New Year

2009 Wow. Another year gone, another year here. It seems like not too long ago that we were ringing in 08. A lot of things happened over this past year, and part of me is glad it's a new year.

A lot of good things happened...weddings, new babies, 1st black president...and yet a lot of pain was experienced too. One thing I can say about 08...it was definitely an eventful year. Of the 25 years I've been alive, I think this has been the most trying and yet most growing I've ever done as a woman of God.

I have never been really good at the whole "resolutions" thing. I wish I was better at them, but I never seem disciplined enough to stick with it. There are many things I think I could grow in, many areas I could become more disciplined in, etc, etc. blah blah blah, right? :)

Seriously though. I do think 2009 will be a big year. And the thing I want this year to be about? Taking risks. Stepping out in faith. Isiah 40:31 says,
"But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

This scripture. I want to live in that hope. To soar on wings like eagles....to live in hope that I can do all things because I have hope in the Lord. Hope means to place confidence in. To trust God completely. This is my one and only resolution.

What are your new year resolutions?

Check out a few of my favorite pictures over the past year....God bless you all!:

5 People...

Moving to Chicago has definitely changed me alot. I am not the same person I was when I left home some 8 or so months ago. It has been a year of change, a year of growth, a year of learning, a year of pain, and a year of joy. And throughout the year, there have been plenty of people in my life who have been there through the ups and downs...been there to listen, to lend a shoulder to cry on, to make me laugh, and to put me back in my place. Yet, I am so horrible at telling people how much they mean to me. I don't know why but it's very hard for me to just be like, listen...I love you and i'm thankful that you are here for me day in and day out. So, I wanted to write about five people whom have really...just really been impactful on me since I moved to Chicago.

1. Laura C: Laura and I met in California back in September, little did we know that it was a God-thing. We have been friends ever since and I am so thankful for her. Without her, I fear Chicago would still be a scary and foreign place to me, but instead…it is a city I love and enjoy exploring as often as possible. Also, I’m thankful because I rarely have people to ask questions of me and my growth…and she does. For as iron sharpens iron, so one (wo)man sharpens another. I am also thankful for her because she has to listen to my millions of questions, thoughts, laments, and angry tears as I wrestle with my daily walk. I always enjoy our Wednesday outings, we never seem to run out of conversation and laughs (and weird accents hahaha)…and I am really glad that she is my friend.

2. My sister. Leanne is one of the strongest women I know. And she is an amazing mother and older sister that I look up to enormously. She will always be my best friend and ever since I moved to Chicago, I have realized how much she means to me and how much I miss her. Leanne teaches me so much about life and she keeps me in line (all too often). Sometimes I wish I was more like her because she embodies everything I’m not. Yet, I know that God made us different so we would get along so well. Most of all, I’m thankful for her support…for she has been behind me in everything…and makes me feel like she really is proud of me, and not just because I’m her sister.

3. Darmesha Washington. I know it may be weird putting a 14 year old girl on here but this girl…she keeps me laughing. And, she has this uncanny ability to make me smile, no matter how bad or tiring my day has been. And laughter, I believe is one reason I keep my sanity here. I am thankful for her because even at her young age, she shows me what Jesus really meant when he said to love each other. For she truly exhibits Christ love in her actions and words and I am very thankful that I have the privilege of knowing her.

4. My grandmother. My mamaw is my rock. I definitely know I don’t tell her as often as I should, but I admire her so much. I think the most important thing about my relationship with her is my respect for her. Honestly, I don’t really hold many people in high respect, yet my Mamaw…I do. She is such a strong, wise, and hard working woman. Mamaw teaches me so much more than I think I could learn from anyone else on this earth. She puts things in a new perspective and every time I get off the phone with her, I feel like I’ve learned something new or she has forced me to think outside of what I had before thought. I am pretty sure I have the best grandmother in the world. And, I love her so much more than she will ever even know, probably because like I said before, I’m the worst at sharing my feelings!

5. Finally, my good friend Katrina. This girl, I have seen her grow so much over the past year. I have known her for three years...met her when she was still a teenager and I was in college. She is now a sophomore in college and thriving as a godly woman. As you get older, its interesting how you begin to lose contact with a lot of your high school and college friends. And since moving to Chicago, I really don't talk to a lot of friends from my past. There are only a handful that have stayed in contact, yet Katrina...no matter what, still manages to make time for me. I am so thankful for her support and guidance. She may be younger than me, but she is so full of youth ministry wisdom it astounds me. And, she has taught me the difference between joy and happiness...which has really changed my attitude about a lot of things. She is a great friend and I'm proud to call her my sister in Christ.

God bless you all...thanks to everyone (family and friends) for your continual prayer, support, and love for me!

God's Blessed

Well, this past month has been a very rough month for me. This past week, I got the flu. And, it's still lingering with me. Right now, my throat is about twice the size it should be because of swollen glands...not fun, not fun at all. But, despite everything, I still keep pluggin along...barely, but i'm hanging on.

Work. Thats pretty much all I do. And, I can't complain because I love it. It keeps me sane...and makes me insane, all at the same time. As I reflect on this past week, I am amazed at the little things that God brings to my life that reminds me of the simplicity, love, and unselfishness of people in poverty. A few weeks ago, we were asked, are the poor really God's blessed? Are they his favored? In Matthew and Luke...Jesus says, blessed are the poor in spirit and blessed are the poor. He also says, "whatever you do for the least of these, you do for me. Are the poor really more blessed than the rich? For it is said that it is extremely hard for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. In Revelation, it says a rich man thinks he has need of nothing...therefore he doesn't need God. So, again, are the poor God's blessed? What can I, as a woman of God...and someone who as little as I make, is still not considered, POOR, by most's standards, what can I take or learn from the poor? I have asked myself this over the past two weeks....I have watched my kids and see things that astound me...surprise me...and totally humble me.

Let me start with an obvious one. My kids live very simplistically. They are satisfied with whatever they are given. Honestly...they are. Here is an example of something that just really warmed my heart a few days ago. I was sitting in my usual spot at the beginning of the day...in a chair in the Computer Lab. Kevon, a 3rd grade boy, came in grinning as always and said hi to me. We talked for a minute or so then he said, DO YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT I BROUGHT FOR SHOW AND TELL TODAY???? He seemed so genuinely excited...I said yes, and acted like I really wanted to see what it was. He came back in a few minutes later....with 4 beat up matchbox cars. He was like, aren't they so cool? I, of course, acted like it was the coolest thing ever, and well, it was a great moment. As I sat there, I thought, he really really thinks I want to know and want to see this stuff. And, I did. Because it mattered to him, so it mattered to me. And the matchbox cars weren't really that cool...they looked pretty old, but they were special to him...and he was going to show them off...simplicity...so awesome.

Another thing that amazes me about these kids is how unselfish they are. They really are. I see it everyday. See, the kids go to the corner store before coming to the center everyday. And, they buy 2 or 3 bags of chips (the little bags most of the time), usually a pop, and sometimes some candy. And they come in...and they share. And they also get candy once a week for city of the week and they get candy for bringing stuff back a lot and stuff. Yesterday, Zyliek had brought a paper back signed, so he got himself some M&Ms. First thing he does? He asks me if I want some. I said, no thanks. And I sat there and watched him. A few minutes later Devin walks in. He says...I want some! Without even BLINKING, Zyliek pours some into his cupped hands. I smiled...and I thought about a few weeks ago. When Naima was given Reces peanut butter cups for making honor roll. She grabbed them, walked over to her brother...without being asked...and handed him one of the two cups and then went and sat down. Seth walked over to her and said, Naima, you don't have to give your brother any of that...you earned it fair and square. She looked up at Seth with this look of amazement and said, "but their his favorites." Then looked back down and started eating hers. Unselfishness....what a thing we can all learn from. I know I can.

Finally, another thing I'm learning from these kids is love. Yes, one thing they are really bad at is they like to make fun of each other...and we try so hard to teach them about being nice to each other and saying kind words. But, at the same time they are so loving to each other and us. Again, I have been sick and I missed work on Monday. I came in on Tuesday, not feeling too well but I knew I didn't want to miss another day. I promise you, almost every single kid in the center asked me how I was feeling. The ones i'm closest to came in, SHASTA!!! Ran over and tried to give me a hug (which I shyed away from since I was still pretty sick)...and immediately asked me how I was. And it was an honest question. How are you? Are you still sick? Why don't you go home? These kids, they cared. They, in their own ways, were loving me. I felt liked they cared more than my co-workers! Lol And everyday, they have asked me how I was feeling. Not only do they love that way, but I see it in the way they treat their brothers and sisters. Yeah, sometimes they argue with them...but they genuinely care for them and take care of them. Most are pretty much raising their younger siblings, so you just see this motherly instinct with them. And the boys...I see Devin wait everyday for his younger sister before he comes to the center...I see Boozie walk in and immediately go give his younger bro a hug cuz he hasn't seen him all day. I see the love they have for their family members. And, it humbles me. It shows me the love we are supposed to have for each other...an "agape" love. Something that isn't conditional...but something that no matter what...you love them.

There are a million other things that make me realize that in some ways...we can learn so much from the poor. So much for youth...and so much from poor youth. Lol I realize that I learn more from them than I could ever teach them.

Finally, I am so grateful for the opprotunity to be a part of this ministry. Even if it will only be a year. Everyday, I am greeted by the sounds of laughter, the faces of smiling children, and the best hugs you can ever imagine. And, all the tears, all the tiredness, all the pain, and all the sickness I go through here...it's all worth it the moment Elvalenna walks in...walks over to me, gives me a hug and hands me a picture that says "i love you" written in glitter and says..."here I made this for you." It's all worth it...It's all worth it.