Oh how Frustrating it is!

I am so frustrated! You know, you'd think after I deal with the same stuff after awhile, I'd be used to it! But I still get so SO SO mad when I hear about some boy wanting to have sex with one of my girls. This kid, she means absolutely the world to me. She is my favorite kid I've ever met in my entire life...I've known her for a few years now and I've just enjoyed watching her grown up into the young Godly lady she is becoming. Lately, she has been tellin me that this boy is wanting to have sex with her. You want to know his reason? He wants to be the boy she gives her virginity to. I'm just like...what in the heck kind of bullcrap is that? She of course, told him she was definitely not ready and that now, he was nothing to her...she didn't want anything to do with him. I had to put the phone when she as telling me all about the situation and punch something. It makes me so mad. I just don't understand it...I can name off the top of my head at least 3 or 4 boys who have told her to her face that they were the boys she was gonna give her virginity to. I just, I just don't understand. I mean...what is wrong with these kids these days? I have my theories...starting with the fact that I drive home at almost 10 at night last night and what do I see? Around 30 young kids at the park hanging out! It's pitch black outside and they out there hanging out with their friends. WHAT? Why in the heck are they not bein told get your butt home as soon as those street lights come on?

I just get so frustrated and I think about the video I uploaded on my last post. About the two villages. There is certainly a village raising these children. And not the village that these children deserve. Sometimes my kids get mad at me. They say why you gotta be so hard on me or why you gotta do this...and I say, because I love you. And I expect more out of you. I am not gonna settle for what everyone else is saying is the norm. I WILL NOT. These kids DESERVE more than what people expect out of them. I told a child the other day, I love you too much to be cool. Yeah, I'm usually laughing and joking around with my kids...I sure as heck love them to death and i'll sit and laugh with them and play ball with them and take 'em out...but at the same time, you better believe when it comes to life, I will not play it cool with them. I will sit there and I will let them say crap all day if it means I'm doing my job by expecting more. Because if I don't expect more, then who will? If I don't say no, you will NOT act that way...then who will?

I'm on my soapbox tonight. I just get so frustrated because I love these kids so much. I know God wants more for their lives than ending up pregnant at a young age or ending up dropping out of school or whatever it may be. God wants them to know how valuable and loved they are. He wants them to know that they are MORE than what this village around them is telling them.

And I swear, I'd like to knock that boy out that said that to my girl. I just want to beat his butt and tell him that he better not talk to her ever again. But I won't. I'll do the best thing that he could ever need...I'll pray for him. And, I hope that someday he begins to understand the value of women and the real meaning of being a man. And i'll continue praying for my girl, that she'll continue being the young godly woman she is and that she can stand up to the pressures around her.

And I wonder...what can we do? Yes, there is 2 villages in this neighborhood but I know our village is much smaller than the other. But, I also know that we have something much more powerful than they do...and that something is the Holy Spirit living inside us. So, I will continue to do what God has called me to do...to love these kids to the point of being totally uncool and to push and desire more out of them.

I love 'em. Sometimes I don't understand why when i'm running 15 laps at 7:30 at night cuz their attitudes have been so stinky at the softball field.. but alas, I still love 'em and I will continue to. I know most people don't understand why I feel so passionately about what I do. I just know that everyday I wake up, somedays beaten down and completely tired but I wake up with a peace, knowing that I am doing exactly what God made me for...and that is something that no tiredness, no frustration, no nothing could ever come close to being compared to.

Pray for my kids...they need it so very much. Today we had our second softball game, they actually did pretty good hitting. We ended up losing but it was a close game. It was so awesome to see their smiles when they would make it to first base safely. They were as shocked as I was when they'd get a base hit! And as I would see Alesha or Lanier or Yakira smiling their huge grins because they got on base, I would think to myself...I wish your parents could see you now! And yet it makes me glad that at least Breakthrough is there. Wow, how amazing is Breakthrough? Just think about that...I got to see Lanier hit the ball for the first time EVER. I got to see Cheyenne strike her first person out. I got to see Jameisha catch her first fly ball and Alesha score her first run. Those are memories I will carry with me forever...I just wish that their familes could see them too.

Lovin life. Lovin these little rugrats. Lovin my job. Its nice to be able to say that, no matter how frustrated you are. God is good and I know that these kids are gonna see that...I know they gonna have a better future because God has put them in situations where they can see Christ in the flesh. And, ya know...thats pretty cool.


God bless you all!